Calvin at School

CALVIN: That dirty Susie Derkins, she'll be sorry if she tries to pass another note.

SUSIE: Psst... Calvin! Pass this secret note to Jessica, okay?

CALVIN: Teacher! Susie's passing notes! Take this away and read it in front of the class!

TEACHER: "Dear Jessica, you know what i hate about Calvin? He's a squeler! Signed, Susie."

CALVIN: I hope you know a good dentist, Susie...


SUSIE: Calvin, pass this note to Jessica.
It's a secret note, so don't read it.

CALVIN: "Calvin you stinkhead. I told you not to read this. Susie."


SUSIE: Calvin, I don't want to be spanked!
What if it goes on our academic transcripts? We'll be ruined!

Darn you, Calvin!! You're gonna answer to my parents if i can't get my masters degree!




CALVIN: What did you bring for show and tell, Susie?

SUSIE: I brought a letter i wrote to our congressman.
What did you bring?

CALVIN: A bag of dead bugs i collected from our window sills.
Best of all, this way my mom didn'y have to pack me a lunch!




MR SPITTLE: Now i want you both to pay better attention in class, understood?

SUSIE: Yes, sir.

MR SPITTLE: Okay, yo may return to your room now.

SUSIE: Thank you Mr. Spittle.

MR SPITTLE: Calvin? You may return to your room.
Calvin?

CALVIN: The Zorg draws nearer. Spiff set his blaster on 'medium well'...



SUSIE: Hi, Calvin. Mind if i join you for lunch?

CALVIN: Yes.

SUSIE: I have a soup today, what do you have?

CALVIN: A squid eyeball sandwich.

SUSIE: You do not. Don't be disgusting.

CALVIN: I like to suck out the retinas.
Care for a bite? Or were you leaving?

SUSIE: Miss Wormwood!



CALVIN: Fearless Spaceman Spiff closes in on the fleeing Zargons!
Once again our hero is about to teach vicious alien scum that virtue is
it's own reward! He locks onto target!

SUSIE: Psst, Calvin! What was the capital of Poland until 1600?

CALVIN: Krakow.

SUSIE: Thanks.

CALVIN: Krakow! Krakow! Two direct hits!

CALVIN: Spaceman Spiff closes in on the alien vessel!

The alien being unnaturally stupid, is blissfully ignorant of its imminent doom!

Our hero locks onto target and warms up his frap-ray blaster!

Zounds! A Gorkon death station appears. Evasive action!

SUSIE: Miss Wormwood!!!

MISS WORMWOOD: Show and tell is over,Calvin. Please put your 'tiger' into your locker.

CALVIN: In my locker?! He'll suffocate!

MISS WORMWOOD: Well, at least put him under your chair.

CALVIN: Whew! That was a close one!

HOBBES: I'll say!

CALVIN: Seven plus three.

HOBBES: Seventy three.

BOY: You've got two periods to live, Twinky.
Then it's gym class, and i turn uou into hamburger casserole!

CALVIN: I hate gym class.
Coach thinks violence is aerobic.